So often time it happens, we all live our life in chains, and we never even know we have the key. ~The Eagles

Breakfast, cocaine and pot. Cocaine and pot are not things I want to talk about or hear about during a breakfast study session. Especially when I'm alone, having breakfast and studying. I'm not saying that I'm not adult enough to talk about these things. Rest assure, I'm not doing either nor have I tried or want to, but the people next to me at the bookstore/cafe where I was, were laughing about the times they have snorted a line of cocaine and gone skiing down slopes, both agreeing that smoking pot before is better. I would think just being on the mountain and skiing would be fun enough. Now, I'm not writing about this and trying to make myself seem better than, or high and mighty and more responsible than these people but I just don't understand their idea and desire to get high and then partake in a sport that if you aren't 100 percent with it, you can kill yourself or other people..

If you are going to let a substance control your fun, and you know through the experience of others (reality tv, news about deaths of addicts) that you slowly can become no fun without that substance in your life, why would you do it?

I don't get and I probably never will.

Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to. ~George Seaton

Common Sense.... I've learned that with love, common sense doesn't always work for me. It doesn't work because what would make sense to me always falls apart, and when something seems so unbelievable, faith and a big leap of faith, make me realize that logistics and love want nothing to do with one another.

I think when people try to plan, take things slow, fast, just be friends but act as a couple, date when they are still broken hearted in turn hurting other people, (maybe)...  We try to make sense of emotions and the past when we could just live in the present and let God do his work. I think people are sometimes afraid to admit that they don't have any control of a lot in life.  You plan for the future but as it's been said before, tomorrow is promised to no one. I'm not saying we shouldn't plan for the future but just remember to be thankful for every person in your life right now, the ones who have stuck around, got you to where you are and the people who aren't there that have helped you for a short time. Good or bad, you might have thought you were in control of who you were meeting.. but I think God puts people in and on our paths for a reason.. there is always a reason.

Gsofia

I sing like I feel. ~Ella Fitzgerald

So I sing a song of happiness, fun and compassion. It's several songs all rolled into one. It's the playlist that I run to, dance to and relax to.

Love is easy. It's people that make it hard sometimes -

Falling in love is suppose to be the easy part. Somewhere along our paths we fall, fall hard and then something changes with someone and you love that person you just aren't "in love" with that person. Something fades, something inside you says I can love but I can't be in it right now. This is so confusing to me. I don't get it. Not that I'm saying that I haven't felt it before or don't. I'm just trying to understand it. I feel like thats what kept me from being in a real serious relationship for so long. Its a mixture of fear of being hurt, fear of not being single and available for the "right one".  This is where it makes sense. Love drives out fear but fear, if you let it, drives out love. It's a vicious cycle.

So what stops it. What makes us decide to jump and leap and take that step towards a relationship? To say "yes, I'm ready to be with you" whoever that is.  It brings up all these questions in my mind. I guess that's just timing for you.

An Amazing Woman In my life

My Grandmother

Living to Love

I had forgotten in the midst of falling for someone that, if they aren't participating in the relationship that you could see being so wonderful, well don't give up but let things be. I finally took the idea of what could be out of the equation and I'm happier. I'm not happier they're not in my life the way I thought but, eventually, its going to be in a place that I'll be okay. Is it strange that it makes me happy? What makes me even more happy? The abundant blessings that I have been given. The amazing desire to want what God's for me.

Never write a letter while you are angry. ~Chinese Proverb

Right.. I'll blog angry instead. So much for love. Thank God faith hasn't changed. Though, it's all contradicting at the moment..

Just when I thought things would be easier, it's like high school all over again. Except now, I'm 23 and trying more now than ever to move on from silly, petty fights about parties and emotional drama that, if other people want to be involved with it (people you care about) still causes more damage than necessary. I hate the feeling of not knowing if I have the right to be upset or really care about certain situations that have to do with loved ones. Right now, I refuse to care but because I'm acknowledging the fact that I don't want to care says  that I do care.

I hate this. Hate was not suppose to be part of this blog.

For all those who are suffering with things going on in the world. My prayers are with you. Any cross I can bare for you, I pray that God send it to me instead.

GSofia