But the greatest of these is LOVE

Grammar stops at love, and at art. ~Valentine Sterling

Monday, February 1, 2010

Love is easy. It's people that make it hard sometimes -

Falling in love is suppose to be the easy part. Somewhere along our paths we fall, fall hard and then something changes with someone and you love that person you just aren't "in love" with that person. Something fades, something inside you says I can love but I can't be in it right now. This is so confusing to me. I don't get it. Not that I'm saying that I haven't felt it before or don't. I'm just trying to understand it. I feel like thats what kept me from being in a real serious relationship for so long. Its a mixture of fear of being hurt, fear of not being single and available for the "right one".  This is where it makes sense. Love drives out fear but fear, if you let it, drives out love. It's a vicious cycle.

So what stops it. What makes us decide to jump and leap and take that step towards a relationship? To say "yes, I'm ready to be with you" whoever that is.  It brings up all these questions in my mind. I guess that's just timing for you.

1 comment:

  1. Theres a lot there in quite a few words.. got me thinking (intelligently who knows) so here is my $.02 for what its worth.

    Falling in love is easy.. its the being in love thats hard.

    I am sure we could find plenty of men & women who happily fall in love with someone or something everyday.

    Its when you reach that point when whatever lust or attraction you are falling for has worn off and it comes to making a deeper connection to truely loving a person thats tough. Having to be more open, real or committed to a person and all they are. Seeing their flaws, showing yours, not just enjoying the easy moments of laughter, happiness or physical beauty but also wanting to be with them even when they're feeling down not just when you are.

    Your right, people do make it hard sometimes. I think for a few reasons, 1) who they/you honestly are underneath whatever you intially fell for does not truely compliment you or you them and although love is a give/take, there is only so much a person can compromise and still feel happy. You can't learn that though without reaching out. Now comes 2) the big blocker, sometimes before the falling for part starts, Fear. We all have different fears; being hurt, hurting others, not feeling free, time and plenty more.. Like you said fear can drive out love and its a shame because fear doesn't come form our hearts it comes from our minds. To get ride of fear I think the only way is to shut down your mind and live with your heart. This is tough (I think) because it makes us vulnerable and because maybe in the past someone hurt us (intentionally or not) or we feel bad for hurting someone and our mind says let me help you not feel that pain. I'll help you put up some protection, some holding back, some judging, some tests, or what may be. Maybe from trying to understand love with our minds we are ruining what could be because we are not enjoying it with our hearts.

    I am sure there are even a few more reasons that make love hard I am going to end with the one that (I think) makes it next to impossible. Hardening our hearts so much that we love with our minds ie. deciding when it will be right, comparing love to others, trying to plan or time it out, or control it. Basically not reaching out for love but just hoping it will come to us. How can it? If a person doesn't live loving at all the opportunities they can, how will love have the opportunity to come to them? Basically, echoing the quote in your photo.

    A friend said to me you don't just start out climbing high level climbing trails and lead climb right away. You have to work at it slowly take a few risks sometimes you fall but you have to stick at it if you want to enjoy the feeling of finally achieving it. He said that to me as an analogy for me to reach out to love and it made perfect sense when he was talking about climbing but when he compared it to love I remember my thoughts of, yeah but and doubts. Again my mind couldn't understand it because it needs to come from the heart.

    Yes, sometimes the love we are living in will fall apart and maybe it will hurt and take a bit to dust ourselfs back off but that doesn't mean the "mountain isn't climbable" we just need to get back on the trail and scout out a new path. Its better then the alternative of not sharing in love and not feeling loved.

    I guess I want to make sure you keep reaching out, keep saying yes, keep jumping. Sure you might land in a few puddles here and there but even those can bring some laughter and fun.

    Dust yourself off and keep loving don't harden your heart. There are plenty of reasons not to love but just like it only takes one candle to light up the darkness it only takes one love to warm a heart.